Late Realizations On Love
by LileyKigoSpashleyRizzslesLover
Summary: Jane and Casey start slow, as promised, but things seem off to the detective. It takes a rather disastrous dinner party for her to figure out why and clue her into her real feelings. Continuation of S3E4. Jane/Maura. Oneshot.


Jane walked into her favorite bar and spotted the man that had made her life not-so-great these past few days. However, getting the text from him had made her hopeful and she was ready to get back to where they left off. In an unconscious show of her nervousness she wrung her hands together and walked towards the booth. Upon arriving, she cleared her throat to let her presence be known.

He looked over and smiled lightly as Jane sat down across from him. "Hi."

"Hi." She replied, scooting into her seat.

"I, uh… I'm really glad you wanted to meet me." He was nervously rubbing his fingers against the glass that contained his beer but he knew he had no reason to be. After all, she was fine with what happened to him. Now he just had to do the same.

"Me too."

"So." He said, not sure how to start a conversation.

"So..." She repeated.

They both laughed nervously.

"Wanna get a drink?"

"Yes! Yes. And… I just – I just wanna… start over."

Smiling at that, he replied. "Me too."

"Start slow."

"Okay." He was a little unsure of where she was going with this but he would happily abide by her requests as long as he was getting another chance to be with her.

"Like maybe we… meet once a week for a run."

His face fell so much it was as if it had been pushed off a cliff. "A run?"

"Yeah. Hell, I'll even take up rollerblading again."

He looked down at his drink and exhaled sharply while shaking his head. "Payback _is_ a bitch."

"What?"

Putting his arm across the back of the booth, he responded. "You were humiliated when I said I didn't want to see you. I get it. Is it making you feel better to make me come here and torture me?" His words were laced with anger now. "You want to ski too?"

Jane's bewildered expression clearly gave away her confusion. "What are you talkin' about?"

He laughed, shook his head, and exhaled. "I knew I was a fool when I got your note. I was so happy."

"Wait, what note? I didn't write you a note!"

"Yeah?" He dug said note out of his pocket and slammed it down on her side of the table.

She picked it up and read it, slightly irritated at the handwriting she recognized immediately. "This is my mother's handwriting…" Her words died off as she noticed him reach for his arm supports that were stored under the table.

"Yeah. Maybe now you'll understand why I didn't want to see you." He said as he tried to situate them properly before giving an explanation to the still confused detective. "Penetrating spinal cord injury. It just takes a dime sized piece of shrapnel hitting you in the right place. You happy now?"

She looked down at the objects before moving her eyes back to him. "Casey, I had no idea."

"Now you do." He lifted himself up out of the booth with the aid of his forearm crutches. He stopped, though, as Jane's outshooting arm caused him to fall back into his seat.

"Wait a minute! Wait! I didn't write this. But if you would have told me I would have said the same thing! It doesn't matter!"

He looked doubtful about that and was about to get back up.

"It doesn't matter." She repeated again with a softer tone of voice.

Sitting up straight again he looked into Jane's eyes. He smiled rather glumly for a second before speaking. "Rollerblading? Really?"

That caused her to laugh.

"Yeah." He looked down for a brief moment. "I did want to see you, though."

"Okay." She said, nodding. She believed him now, knowing what he was worried about. She had just wished he would have trusted him enough to tell him when he came back. Now she just feels like there's been a lot of lost time.

"Just give me some time, okay?"

"Okay."

"Jane?" His words were suddenly shaky and he knew he had to go. "Please don't watch me leave."

"Okay." She agreed, albeit hesitantly and looked away. Untrue to her word, though, she turned back as soon as he couldn't see her. Wrought with emotion, she watched him slowly make his way across the bar and to the door. A few tears escaped her eyes as she watched him leave.

Maura entered the bar just as Casey was leaving and held the door for him. He gave her a look and she gave one right back. "I knew you weren't mean."

He exited as she kept the door open for him.

The M.E. walked quickly towards her best friend's booth and sat down. "How did it go?"

Jane shrugged. "I asked him to go rollerblading."

"Shut the front door. You did not."

"Yeah I did."

Those words caused perfectly manicured hands to cover their owner's mouth.

"I think I might have also suggested running."

Maura groaned and shook her head. Something like this was so tragically comical it seemed straight out of a television show.

Looking down, Jane spotted the note again so she pushed it over to the other woman.

"Your mother…" Maura started.

"…is a dead woman." They both finished simultaneously.

"Yeah." Jane nodded enthusiastically at that for a few moments before raising her hand up, ready for a drink. A few seconds later someone came over to take their usual order: a beer and a glass of wine.

"So are you going to see him again?" The doctor asked cautiously when she got her drink.

"Yeah. I don't know when but we're gonna try again. Slowly this time."

Maura fought back a lump in her throat when she heard that. "Really? He – he gave you another shot even after that blunder?"

Jane's face tinted red. "Ugh… I can't believe I said that."

"I can't either. It probably could have been avoided if I hadn't…" Her words trailed off as she realized she shouldn't be saying that out loud.

This caused Jane to stop mid sip and set her beer down. "Maura?" She waited for the other woman to look up and, when she didn't, she tried again. More forcefully this time. "Maura? What did you mean by that? What were you gonna say?"

"I…I…I…" She was trying desperately to come up with a way that would get her out of this without lying. Nearly a minute passed and the expectant look on Jane's face became too much for her. Not finding any possible scenarios that wouldn't end with her passed out on the floor, she came clean. "I knew. Barney Miller, well Elsie, is Casey's dog and I found out when I returned her. He made me swear not to tell you."

"But you told my mother?" The pointed look she was directing towards the doctor was so sharp it could cut through diamonds like butter.

Maura shrunk under the gaze and barely squeaked out an affirmative answer.

"God, Maura." She groaned and put a hand to her face in a commonly recognized gesture of frustration.

"I'm sorry! I – she was worried about you and I – I couldn't just _not _tell her!"

She shook her head, which was still resting in her hand, before looking up. "You know how much my mother loves to meddle! Some genius you are if you couldn't even see _this _coming!" She yelled, throwing up the note.

Maura winced at the stinging remark but stuck up for her actions. "I… I wanted to tell you, Jane!"

"Then why didn't you?"

"I… he made me promise not to."

Though she knew it was an odd combination, Jane couldn't hate the fact that Maura was a horrible liar _and_ a fantastic secret keeper. Right now, however, she wasn't liking it all that much.

"I… I understand. But I don't like it."

Still worried, Maura looked up and spoke softly. "So… do you still hate me?"

The scared tone of voice caused Jane's resolve to weaken and her upset-look turned to one of regret. "I never hated you, Maur. You're my best friend and… I never want us to hate each other again. No matter what. I'm not going back to that."

"You promise?"

A soft smile appeared on the detective's face as she held up her beer. "Promise."

Maura laughed, relieved, and grabbed her wine glass to seal the promise with a clink.

XXXXX

The next few weekends were dotted with fun yet slightly awkward dates between Jane and Casey. The pair were slowly trying to get back to how they worked together before but, considering a lot of the time they spent together before he left was in bed, it was difficult. And since he was partially paralyzed the activities they could do together were limited. Especially since he refused to use a wheelchair.

Despite this, Jane was glad talking to him again but she noticed that there was definitely something lacking. Their previous spark, while still there, was greatly diminished and she was a little afraid that his new disability was behind it, though she really didn't want that to be the case. Something like that, she believed, shouldn't matter in cases of love. Lately, though, that word has been wavering in her mind in regards to him.

They managed to make dinner dates and chatting over beers their new normal thing so he could meet her there and ask her to leave before he does, as he was still uncomfortable with her watching him use his crutches.

After the first initial dates, Jane was relatively happy with how things were going between her and Casey. Maura, however, didn't think the same. During a mid-morning yoga session, she voiced these thoughts.

"I'm confused."

"That's a first." Jane remarked, slightly amused, as they switched to downward-facing dog.

Maura ignored the comment and continued her line of thought. "If things are good between you and Casey, why are you still depressed?"

"What?" Due to the shock she experienced hearing that, and the force in which turned her head, she fell over in a heap.

"It's true! Though you're back to joining me in yoga and running I don't think you're giving it your all."

Jane snorted. "When have I ever 'given my all' to yoga?"

"Okay, you've got me there. But even in those kickboxing lessons you brought me to you seemed rather… lethargic."

"So I was tired? Big deal."

Maura frowned, not believing her, but decided to leave it alone.

The following week was a slow one at the precinct so that gave the two female crime fighters plenty of time to chat along with getting dragged to yoga, pilates, spinning classes, and whatever else Maura wanted to do. Jane was a little wary when it came to talking due to the conversation they had about Casey but she knew that Maura respected her enough to not bring it up right away. One Friday afternoon, after they had just finished with a floater that turned up near the Charles River, Jane opened the door marked B101 and strolled in, ready to talk about it. She had been thinking about it for a few days. It was driving her crazy and she needed a second opinion.

"Maura… I need to talk to you."

Said woman looked up from her newly delivered scientific journal with a hopeful smile. "What is it?"

"I… I think I'm falling out of love with Casey."

That perked her right up, though she tried very hard not to show it. She put the journal down and directed her full attention towards the other woman. "Oh really? That's seems odd considering how hurt you were by the breakup."

Jane solemnly nodded. "Yeah... he's – he's just not the same guy I liked in high school."

"Is this because of his injury?"

"No!" She shouted, slightly offended that Maura could insinuate that she was that shallow. Though, she paused before continuing. "At least… I don't think so." She let out a heavy sigh. "Thanks, Maura, now I feel even worse about it!"

"I didn't mean to! But... do you want to talk about it? Perhaps a discussion can pinpoint other plausible reasons for you feeling this way."

Jane looked at her and contemplated the offer. She didn't really want to talk about this but she also knew that Maura really wasn't going to take no for an answer. At least not in the long run. "Yeah… sure." She took a seat on the uncomfortable couch – though, she hated to admit, it was more comfortable than the one she has at home – and sighed. "I don't know what to do. Should I just keep going out with him and hope it gets better or tell him the truth and… he might hate me."

"Jane." Maura's voice held a hint of sympathy as she got up and sat next to her on the couch. She put her hand on her shoulder and continued. "He couldn't hate you."

"Right… like how you could never hate me?"

"That… that was a very unfortunate situation. You know that. But, anyway it's not uncommon to fall out of love with someone after a tragedy occurs. And there have been several tragic events in your life since you two were last together. Another common reason behind falling out of love is that your expectations aren't being met. I know that you two used to have a rather physical relationship and now that that's gone your needs aren't being met."

Jane sighed and rolled her shoulder, causing the M.E. to draw her hand away. "My needs are just fine."

"I… I think you're just struggling to admit that his injury is affecting your relationship."

"That's the thing, Maura. I really don't think that's it. I think there's something else that I can't figure out right now."

"You mean like… falling for someone else?" She asked, hopeful.

"I don't…. I don't think so." She scoured her brain for any inkling of feelings towards the males that she had been around recently but the search came up blank. "Maybe I should just keep trying. Who knows, it could fix itself. Right?"

Maura shrugged. "It's possible." Though she hoped in this case it wasn't. This new development piqued her interest and she was curious. Perhaps if she were to observe them together she might notice something. "Would you and Casey like to have dinner at my place tonight?"

Jane looked at her for a moment, as the request came out of nowhere, and considered it. "Alright… I can call him and change our plans. We were going to the Robber but I'm sure he'd be fine with it."

"Good. And I was planning on going out with that Italian in our yoga class tonight anyway so we'll just double."

The detective narrowed her eyes slightly. "What's it with you and Italians?"

"Wh- N-nothing!" She said a bit too quickly and tried to change the subject. "Don't be late tonight."

"Yeah… no problem." She laughed.

XXXXX

Jane knocked on the door that was becoming more familiar than her own. What greeted her when it opened was also familiar. But she wasn't happy about it.

"Janie!" Giovanni stepped aside and let her into the Isles residence.

She didn't even let him get another word out before she made a bee-line for her best friend. She didn't even acknowledge the fact that Casey was sitting at the dining room table. She pulled Maura aside by dragging her not-so-gently by the sleeve of her dress. "Maura! I thought you said you were bringing that guy from yoga?"

"I was but… he cancelled. Giovanni's the only one who agreed to come on short notice."

"Don't you think it would have been better to have it be just the three of us?"

She seemed shocked at that the mention of that scenario. "And be a third wheel? I don't think so!"

"Maura, think about this. How hard it was to get rid of him last time?"

"I know but… I didn't want to be alone!"

"I mean… for god's sake Tommy would have been a better choice!"

Maura's mouth was wide open and ready for a retort but she shut it for a moment hearing that. "Huh… I didn't even think about him."

Jane rolled her eyes and silently vowed not to help her get out of any face-licking situations. "Whatever. I don't want to leave him in there too long with Casey, anyway." She nodded her head toward the living room, suggesting they should go back in.

"Hey, there you two are!" Giovanni said when he saw them reenter the room. "I was just telling this guy here how I could trick out his arm things! A few flames on the side… it could be sweet!"

"'This guy' is named Casey." Said man responded. "And I'm fine. Thanks."

The Italian male put his hands up in defeat. "I was just offering. And, hey, aren't we lucky that these two beautiful girls are back to being best friends instead of… well, you know."

Jane and Maura cast a nervous glance at one another.

The soldier nodded. "Yeah. I heard about the huge fight that happened. I'm glad things got patched up."

Giovanni seemed confused by this news. "You two had a fight? Is that why you broke up?"

Casey glanced over at the other man. "Broke up? What are you talking about?"

Jane rushed over to save the scene from certain disaster. "He just means like as friends. You know, we stopped being friends so we 'broke up'." She said, inserting air-quotes to try and get her point across.

Giovanni spoke up again before he could be stopped. "But… that's not what you told me. I thought you were lovers."

"Oh god." Maura placed her face in her hands, sensing certain disaster.

"What is he talking about?" Casey questioned, needing answers. He looked back and forth between the two females in the room.

Jane stepped forward. "He just – Maura could you take your Giovanni outside please?" She figured it would be easier if she didn't have to deal with him too.

She does so, but not happily. She was slightly curious as to how this might have panned out and now she would have to wait for Jane to tell her. If she even does so at all.

"Jane?" His face held a hint of impatience.

"I – look, we only told him that to get him to stop going out with Maura."

He didn't believe that. "Then why is he here? On a double-date with Maura?"

"She didn't have anyone else to come with her. It was kind of short notice."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "I don't know if I believe that."

"Really, Casey? Do you really think that me an' Maura have been seeing each other in secret?" She wanted to laugh.

"I see the way you look at her! And back then, before _this _happened," He pointed to his legs. "I saw the way you looked at her. I couldn't take it! That's part of the reason why I didn't want to call you. I figured that, if I was out of your life you two could be happy together. I just wanted to forget you, Jane. But I couldn't. Heck, I kept your picture as my screensaver all this time." He laughed cynically. "I was hoping that I was just seeing things or that it would have gone away by the time I came back. But it didn't."

Jane felt immediately horrible as she remembered something and was debating whether she should even tell him. But only for a moment. "I, uh… I do have something I need to tell you. I was seeing someone while you were away."

He gave her a look.

"But it wasn't Maura!"

"Who, then."

"Agent Gabriel Dean." She said. "You… you don't know him. We worked together but he's in D.C. now."

"And that's supposed to make me feel better?"

"No! I just – I wasn't sure if I was ever going to see you again and, apparently, you didn't want me to." She shot back. "You know how bad that made me feel? I thought I was nothing to you!"

He wasn't sure how to respond to that. So he didn't. "I still think you have feelings for Maura. Admit it. You never wanted to be with me in the first place. High school was all we had. Once you met Maura, it was all over."

"I told you already I'm not – " Then, a thought struck her. Well, it was more of a feeling. An intense one at that. It made her stand there silently for at least two minutes.

Finally, Casey spoke up. "Jane?"

"You're right." She could hardly believe it herself.

"About?" He knew what, he just wanted to make sure.

"I'm in love with Maura."

He frowned. "See? I knew it all along!" He shouted before storming out as quickly as he was capable, running into Maura on the way.

When the M.E. stepped inside, she saw a very worry stricken woman sitting at the table. "What happened?" She was honestly shocked when the Lieutenant Colonel stormed out. The expected outcome in her mind was far from that.

Jane looked up and ignored the question, forming her own. "Where's Giovanni?"

"He went home after I told him the truth."

"Which truth exactly?"

"The true truth." She stated. "Now that your mother's car isn't being held hostage I wasn't quite as worried about the outcome." Sitting in an adjacent chair, she tried again. "What happened?"

"You were right."

That cause a smile to appear on the hazel eyed woman's face, however briefly. "Of course I was! About what, exactly?"

"Among other reasons, I'm not in love with him anymore because I'm in love with someone else. I have been for awhile."

Maura nodded. "You still love Dean?"

"No."

Perfectly sculpted brows furrowed. "No? Who then? Andrew Spinola?"

"No… I – wait. How'd you know about…" And then it dawned on her. "My mother told you about him didn't she?" She said, nearly growling with irritation.

"Yes. But, anyway… who is this sudden love interest?"

Jane fidgeted, unsure if she should actually say anything. "It starts with an M and ends with an E."

The riddle wasn't too difficult for the BCU alum. "Me?"

"Yes!"

"You're in love with yourself? I knew you had some narcissistic tendencies but that's taking it a bit too far, isn't it?" Maura wasn't stupid, and nobody had ever accused her of being so. She knew what Jane meant and was trying to bite back her giddiness as long as she could.

"No, I meant – wait, you think I'm narcissistic?"

She couldn't hold back the smile anymore. "I was just teasing."

"Har har. Maybe you should quit your job as Chief Medical Examiner and become a stand-up comedian."

Maura looked up, as if contemplating that career path. "Nah. My current job pays much better."

Jane shook her head but became surprised when Maura, unable to contain herself any longer, jumped on top of her and ravished her lips. Though unexpected, it was eagerly welcomed and the chocolate eyed beauty returned the affectionate gesture with gusto. Moments later, they separated, though not too far from each other. "So what do we do now?" She asked.

"Well, um… we have all this dinner stuff." The doctor answered, pointing at the obvious spread on the table.

"I think I would rather skip to dessert." She said with a grin before pulling the Irish woman into the closest bedroom and shutting the door.


End file.
